an arrow released will never return

and we are all arrows in flight

 

but who or what or where

is the bowman?

can we be our own archer?

and why take flight at all?

 

if we are the super being

then surely we know why

or at least once knew.

 

could curiosity be the bowman?

could we the super being, infinite

simply be curious in our own self?

 

puzzles are the answer.

do you see how much

we enjoy puzzles

everyday puzzles

fun puzzles

painful puzzles

ah, to test ourselves

our mental fortitude

our cleverness

the challenge of it all...

 

could we the infinite,

simply be afraid

to be bored

and in the corner of

our infinitus, shelve a puzzle

named universe,

we all play?

The Story of the Woman Whose Son Died

               Every day she walked for hours, after her son died, in the nearby woods.   She had an unintelligible energy— too much to sit still, too much to focus, too little to do anything, at all.  So, she walked in the woods.  Some days, she would walk and end up lost in the woods.  She felt happy when she got lost for a moment.  For a moment, she would stop thinking of him.  Then, one day, she stood still, as did the woods, and she thought of the word or the term ‘lost’.  And she thought, on this still day, is anything ever lost?  Does anything really exist?  Did it ever exist?  I no longer possess it.  Can you ever possess anything?  Did I ever possess it?  Her heart ached, no longer thinking lost, but feeling lost.  Feeling every letter, and then his voice enters her heart ‘L’, his smile ‘O’, his touch ‘S’, the last moment she remembers seeing him ‘T’.  Her heart came so close to bursting, that day the woods stood still… she never got lost again.

                On another day, many many after the lost day, she found a place in the woods where rays of sunshine lit up the ground the largest.  She liked this spot very much, as most of the woods were shaded, but it was because of the immense shade that made this place so special.  She felt a deep peace here and found herself many days staring into the light.  This brought her a peace she rarely felt anymore.  She continued to visit this special place, and on a day quite similar to the lost day, she looked to sky as usual and then she sat.  She sat, stretched and looked around.  There in the shade of the taller trees, was one smaller tree.  To her, it appeared all the trees looked down onto this one tree in a mocking manner.   She felt a sudden rage come over her, here in here peaceful place, a rage that consumed her being.  She picked herself up and ran home in a blur.  She grabbed an axe determined to cut all the large trees down.  When she returned to her special place with the axe, she approached a large tree and as she swung the axe, a melancholy sensation ran through her.  She dropped the axe and began to howl in pain and cry.

                She passed out and awoke determined to care for the little tree.  Every day she carried water with a song on her heart, day in day out.  But time proved that this little tree appeared smaller or all the woods were growing higher around it.  She felt the rage again, but the pain to howl or cry had left her body and gone too, the energy to wield the axe.  At the moment of rage, or the moment she felt it was to emerge from her being, she looked upward and the sun caught her eye.  The calm returned.  Still determined to care for the tree, she returned daily with water, a song on her heart, but this time she brought mirrors to redirect the sunlight to the little tree.  She continued this daily journey until her little tree was the largest in the woods.

A Good Time - C. Bukowski

The Folly of Existence

...and how do you propose to prove your existence? Punch me. No. Punch me! You serious K? Fucking punch me asshole! Or... Smack! K holds his left cheek, opening and closing his mouth, a slow painful yawning motion. Swollen tongue speaks: Outs! Fuk-er! You exist! Again! No way. Again! Uh-uh. K runs into a wall, head first. Why are you doing this? Dazed and slurry: We decided. We decided. Hit me. Ok. Ok. K gets hit many times. Passing out. In a dream he floats in his unconscious pondering the pain: I know now I am not alert enough to protect my body, nor maintain its health in this state, but yet I am aware I am in a sense asleep. I exist now even though I am unable to move or physically control my body. If I never leave this state I am in, could I through time create a new reality to live in? Could I reconstruct the universe I recall. I do feel a dull aching outside. Fading from awareness to fading darkness. Rest. I am awake screams K. How long was I out? 5 minutes. Ok. Now give me the drug. You sure you want to go through with this K? I'm… not sure. Just keep filming and take notes. Dammit K. Rolling K's shirt sleeve up. A shoe string wraps around his upper bicep. The needle plunges into a vein. Euphoria. Pain oozes out his finger tips, leaving a limp, almost lifeless body, the video will later reveal. K begins to float detached above his body: I know now I am not alert enough to protect my body, nor maintain its health in this state, but yet I am aware I am in a sense asleep. I exist now even though I am unable to move or physically control my body. If I never leave this state I am in, could I through time create a new reality to live in? Could I reconstruct the universe I recall. I feel nothing anymore of body, pain eludes me and yet, here I am again, still aware of the extremity. And yet, I still question the power of my existence. Restlessness and darkness overcome K again. Slowly, groggy with sleepy eyes K mumbles: How long? About two and half hours. Ok. Give me the gun. You don't have to do this. We have enough to work with. Let's go over it again. Give me the gun. I can't. Where is it? No way. I need to know. The gun finds its way into K's hand. Trigger pressed. Quickly K goes black: I know now I am not alert enough to protect my body, nor maintain its health in this state, but yet I am aware I am in a sense asleep. I exist now even though I am unable to move or physically control my body. If I never leave this state I am in, could I through time create a new reality to live in? Could I reconstruct the universe I recall. Darkness and heavy sleep cover K's eye. ...and how do you propose you exist again? I cannot prove or disprove my existence. Nor can I do the same for you. Now. The question unfolds: why exist at all? With pain, without pain or not aware of either, why? My experience is mine alone. I cannot confirm any other thing exists or has existed except for the sole one of myself. I think, therefore am thought. But whose thought was that, I thought to think? Am I the origin of thought? Did the original thought consist of self? How can it be known or does it matter? The conscious and the unconscious being aware of it's being in any either state, with and without pain, seemingly places the being in an extraordinary existence to the degree that the being, being aware, is. And that is the folly of existence.

Everyone's a Skeptic--About Other Religions

James A. Haught

Published on February 13, 2007

[Editor's note: This was originally delivered as a talk to Campus Freethought Alliance, Marshall University, Huntington, WV, on July 12, 1998]

Religion is an extremely touchy topic. Church members often become angry if anyone questions their supernatural dogmas. (Bertrand Russell said this is because they subconsciously sense that their beliefs are irrational.) So I try to avoid confrontations that can hurt feelings. Nearly everyone wants to be courteous. But sometimes disputes can't be avoided. If you think the spirit realm is imaginary, and if honesty makes you say so, you may find yourself under attack. It has happened to many doubters. Thomas Jefferson was called a "howling atheist." Leo Tolstoy was called an "impious infidel."

Well, if you wind up in a debate, my advice is: Try to be polite. Don't let tempers flare, if you can help it. Appeal to your accuser's intelligence.

I've hatched some questions you may find useful. They're designed to show that church members, even the most ardent worshipers, are skeptics too--because they doubt every magical system except their own.

If a churchman berates you, you might reply like this:

You're an unbeliever, just like me. You doubt many sacred dogmas. Let me show you:

Millions of Hindus pray over statues of Shiva's penis. Do you think there's an invisible Shiva who wants his penis prayed over--or are you a skeptic?

Mormons say that Jesus came to America after his resurrection. Do you agree--or are you a doubter?

Florida's Santeria worshipers sacrifice dogs, goats, chickens, etc., and toss their bodies into waterways. Do you think Santeria gods want animals killed--or are you skeptical?

Muslim suicide bombers who blow themselves up in Israel are taught that "martyrs" go instantly to a paradise full of lovely female houri nymphs. Do you think the dead bombers are in heaven with houris--or are you a doubter?

Unification Church members think Jesus visited Master Moon and told him to convert all people as "Moonies." Do you believe this sacred tenet of the Unification Church?

Jehovah's Witnesses say that, any day now, Satan will come out of the earth with an army of demons, and Jesus will come out of the sky with an army of angels, and the Battle of Armageddon will kill everyone on earth except Jehovah's Witnesses. Do you believe this solemn teaching of their church?

Aztecs skinned maidens and cut out human hearts for a feathered serpent god. What's your stand on invisible feathered serpents? Aha!--just as I suspected, you don't believe.

Catholics are taught that the communion wafer and wine magically become the actual body and blood of Jesus during chants and bell-ringing. Do you believe in the "real presence"--or are you a disbeliever?

Faith-healer Ernest Angley says he has the power, described in the Bible, to "discern spirits," which enables him to see demons inside sick people, and see angels hovering at his revivals. Do you believe this religious assertion?

The Bible says people who work on the sabbath must be killed: "Whosoever doeth any work in the sabbath day, he shall surely be put to death" (Exodus 31:15). Should we execute Sunday workers--or do you doubt this scripture?

At a golden temple in West Virginia, saffron-robed worshipers think they'll become one with Lord Krishna if they chant "Hare Krishna" enough. Do you agree--or do you doubt it?

Members of the Heaven's Gate commune said they could "shed their containers" (their bodies) and be transported to a UFO behind the Hale-Bopp Comet. Do you think they're now on that UFO--or are you a skeptic?

During the witch hunts, inquisitor priests tortured thousands of women into confessing that they blighted crops, had sex with Satan, etc. then burned them for it. Do you think the church was right to enforce the Bible's command, "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live" (Exodus 22:18)--or do you doubt this scripture?

Members of Spiritualist churches say they talk with the dead during worship services. Do you think they actually communicate with spirits of deceased people?

Millions of American Pentecostals spout "the unknown tongue," a spontaneous outpouring of sounds. They say it is the Holy Ghost, the third god of the Trinity, speaking through them. Do you believe this sacred tenet of many Americans?

Scientologists say each human has a soul which is a "Thetan" that came from another planet. Do you believe their doctrine--or doubt it?

Ancient Greeks thought a multitude of gods lived on Mt. Olympus--and some of today's New Agers think invisible Lemurians live inside Mt. Shasta. What's your position on mountain gods--belief or disbelief?

In the mountains of West Virginia, some people obey Christ's farewell command that true believers "shall take up serpents" (Mark 16:18).They pick up rattlers at church services. Do you believe this scripture, or not?

India's Thugs thought the many-armed goddess Kali wanted them to strangle human sacrifices. Do you think there's an invisible goddess who wants people strangled--or are you a disbeliever?

Tibet's Buddhists say that when an old Lama dies, his spirit enters a baby boy being born somewhere. So they remain leaderless for a dozen years or more, then they find a pubescent boy who seems to have knowledge of the old Lama's private life, and they anoint the boy as
the new Lama (actually the old Lama in a new body). Do you think that dying Lamas fly into new babies, or not?

In China in the 1850s, a Christian convert said God appeared to him, told him he was Jesus' younger brother, and commanded him to "destroy demons." He raised an army of believers who waged the Taiping Rebellion that killed 20 million people. Do you think he was Christ's
brother--or do you doubt it?

Etc., etc. You get the picture.

I'll bet there isn't a church member anywhere who doesn't think all those supernatural beliefs are goofy--except for the one he or she believes.

You see, by going through a laundry list of theologies, you can show that the average Christian doubts 99 percent of the world's holy dogmas. But the 1 percent he believes is really no different than the rest. It's a system of miraculous claims, without any reliable evidence to support it.

So, if we can show people that some sacred "truths" are nutty, maybe subconscious logic will seep through, and they'll realize that if some magical beliefs are irrational, all may be.

This progression is rather like a scene in the poignant Peter de Vries novel, The Blood of the Lamb. In the book, a gushy woman compliments a Jew because "your people" reduced the many gods of polytheism to just one god. The man replies: "Which is just a step from the truth."

Meanwhile, it's encouraging to realize that almost everyone in the world is a skeptic--at least about other people's religion.

Nothing or the Falling Too

What do we hold on to
When we are falling:
Gravity, air or thin ice?

You can push
You can pull
You can trick yourself
In believing you are in control

When you are falling,
There is never any place to go
When you are falling.
The cool glide of friction
Between the ice and skate
Is a metaphor, for
Goodness sake.
Your are not gliding
Sliding or riding
You are the space between
The skate and the ice.
You are the friction between,
When you are falling.

And we are all falling
And we all will not stop
And not one of us falls faster
Than the other.
We all have different start times
On our fall.
And you don't know yet that you are falling and you probably won't
Ever recognize you are falling
Have been falling
Will continue falling
Until we stop.
But no one knows that information. No one.
And that's okay
When that's all you do.

The Falling

I slip
I trip
I falling.
When you never land
You keep falling.
When I trip and slip
I flip the light switch.
No matter,
When you are falling
There is never much
To see.
Falling is swimming
Against a strong tide
You try one way
No matter,
The tide pulls you the other.
Falling becomes flying
But not like a bird
No matter,
If you try
You fly like a rock.
Never hitting ground.
When you are falling
That is all you do.
No matter,
When that is what
You do.
I slip
I trip
I falling.
In darkness
Against my will
Weighted heavily
In a perpetual
Never-ending
Fall.
And that's okay
When that's all you do.